A few months ago my friend Melanee told me about an offer for two free nights at the Grand Sierra Resort in Reno. At first I thought it would be a fun thing for Steve and I and Rose to do before my birthday. Then I came up with the idea to make it a girls weekend and head up with my girlfriends as a getaway. However, as the weekend go closer I started to come to a realization. I was stressed. And tense. And overwhelmed with life. (Man I can feel myself tense up just thinking about it) I was snapping at Rose when she didn’t deserve it (I can find a better way to deal with her spitting out her food) and overreacting to little things Steve did (who cares that he posted a picture on his account on Facebook instead of mine like I asked, its not that big of a deal). My patience was gone.
Earlier this week, it became apparent to me that I needed to do something. It just wasn’t healthy to keep going like this.
Luckily I have an awesome, understanding friend so now, for the first time in 18 months, (plus 10 if you count the pregnancy) I am spending more than a few hours alone. It’s been an interesting experience as I have had to break out of my comfort zone in a number of ways. But good. Yes, very good.
A few things I learned a few things on my vacation:
- Even leaving work at 3pm doesn’t mean you will be where you want to be in time. Or anywhere near it. And that’s ok.
- If you travel over the pass on I-80 in the winter you may be stuck in traffic for two hours even though the road is “Open with only standard chain control”.
- Even with the delay (which was apparently Caltrans stopping traffic for some reason) Caltrans still rocks when it comes to snow removal compared to Nevadatrans (or whatever they are called). Even compared to driving over the pass and down steep mountainsides, driving the relatively flat roads in Nevada was H.E.Double Hockey Sticks.
- Thank goodness for Subarus.
- Nothing shows you that you really are a “strong, confident woman” than driving above mentioned roads, by yourself, in the dark.
- I was reminded why I started liking Brendan Fraiser so much. He was shirtless almost the entire time in George of the Jungle. Stupid movie but……
- I am married but not blind and that’s ok. (See 5.)
- I am fairly sure I need a new job. Years of broken promises are hard to get over. It’s made me very jaded for any new promises and even apparent changes in attitude. Unless there is something material to back them up soon it’s just not worth it anymore. I’ve become too bitter.
- Nail polish eventually dries up after 8 years and makes for a terrible manicure that you can’t remove because you didn’t pack any polish remover.
- Even a terrible manicure makes me feel a little more feminine and that’s a good thing.
- A medium bag of M&Ms; is a bit much for one person. Consuming an entire bag is not an impossible feet but does make you feel a little icky.
- People watching in a casino is fascinating.
- It also makes me realize that I am apparently the last person on the face of the earth who doesn’t text.
- Eating lunch by yourself isn’t too bad if you have a good book. A breakfast that you have to eat with two hands is a little stranger.
- Even if it’s been a few hours since you painted your fingernails, if you pick the above mentioned M&Ms; from your teeth with them, it will ruin your already terrible manicure.
- Eating by yourself, with the portion size in the US, leaves you with a lot of wasted food and makes you eat much more than you should.
- It feels good to walk with no agenda, no deadline, no little one clinging to your side/leg/back and even no distraction of another adult.
- It took a bit but I can walk confidently with no agenda, no deadline, not little one and no other adult.
- You can enjoy being by yourself but still miss your family terribly.
- Being alone can be a good thing. It builds confidence, helps you to center yourself and makes you realize again that you and only you need to be the author of your own story, the maker of your own dreams, and the your biggest fan.