A letter to my post pregnancy hair

Dear Post Pregnancy Hair,

What.  The.  Heck.  Why in the world would you feel the need to change so much just because there was a minor (major) shift in my hormones.  Seriously what in Darwin’s law decided that the hormones required for baby making would also determine so much about how you look.  Before my first pregnancy, you were fairly straight all over.  Sure there was a hint of a wave but nothing that didn’t dry straight without the aid of a blow drier.  Now….  Now you curl like you were in hot rollers in one strategic area in the back of my head and the rest of you is as straight as an arrow.  Let me tell you, that is a lovely look.  NOT!  If I let you air dry, it looks like I put curly hair extensions back there and forgot to curl the rest of my hair to match.  You started to do this after the birth of my first child and I held out the vain hope that the second pregnancy would fix it or at least not make it worse but nooooooo, you had to get even curlier didn’t you.

The center-back of my hair.  Lovely curls.

The front-top of my hair. Iron board straight.
And the falling out you are doing?  Let’s talk about that.  Is this pay back for growing as fast as you did while I was pregnant?  You grew so long and fast when I was pregnant with Rose that I donated a bunch and still had plenty of length left over.  I remember this same thing starting about 3 months after Rose was born but I must have had a touch of PSD and buried most of the memory as I don’t remember it being this bad.  And for so long.  When I take my hair out of a ponytail at the end of the day just running my hands through you can give me enough hair to knit Evelyn a sweater.  Maybe that’s why?  Is this an evolutionary thing created to give mothers something to keep our babies warm with??? 
Google says that mothers are just loosing what they didn’t loose during pregnancy but I have to disagree with that.  There is no way that I am normally this bald.  I’m down to about half the amount I had 2 months ago and I don’t see the end yet.  My temples are looking decidedly thin and now top of my head looks a bit like a chia pet with all the new growth coming in at the same time.  Not cool!  Bottom line, postpartum hair loss, you suck.
Please stop.  My vacuum is begging you.
Your partially curly haired, partially bald owner,

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